Monday, February 25, 2013

Slow Motion

So for anyone that doesn't have kids and is for some reason reading this you might want to stop.  I don't want to scare you.

Good now that we got rid of are the slowest things ever.  My daughter has mastered the art of pretending to get ready and not actually doing anything.  Here is a sample of a trip that should have taken me literally 5 minutes:

Me (to wife)- I am running to the grocery (at the end of the street, I love living in the city) to pick up a couple things.

EJ - Can I come?

Wife - (glares at me to make sure I know that saying no is out of the question)

Me - Sure, Great!  Ok EJ pick out your shoes and get your coat on.  (She is 3.5 and very independent, I can't help)  

I get my coat/shoes on.  EJ is standing right by the door looking at me, falls down.

Me - EJ what are you doing?  Do you need help?


Me (thinking) - I am so glad she can do things by herself now

EJ - (Still looking at me)

Me - EJ here are your shoes and coat, please put them on

EJ - I don't want to wear those shoes Daddy

Me - Pick out your shoes then (Sighs)

EJ - Why did you make that sound Daddy?

Me - Because I could have been to the store and back by now (glared at by wife)

That is just getting ready.  Once we get to the store it is another 10 minutes of slow motion walking around the store since we can't go in the cart unless it is a car cart.  Our store has 2 of them, I think, but they are always in use or broken.  After walk home total time from statement of me going to the store to us being back in the house - 25 minutes.  

I sometimes wish my kids were like the girl from "Small Wonder"  and I could push fast forward on them.  Now that would be sweet.

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